THE WAY YOU ACT AROUND FAMILY
For some of us, being around family isn’t what we would consider pure bliss. However, spending time with her family can put you in her good graces. She wants to know you’ll interact with them and fit in with the people she loves. Put away distractions like your phone, or don’t get glued to the TV screen…even if your favorite sports team is on the 1 yard line. Try starting the conversation with something that interests you. Mention that good restaurant you both visited or that spirit you’ve acquired a taste for recently. Always remember to keep good eye contact and smile. When you have some time, let your partner know that you’re having a great time and that you really enjoy her family. She’ll give you a look that says, “You’re perfect!”
HOW SINCERELY YOU LISTEN TO WHAT SHE TALKS ABOUT
“When a man, realizes that his partner is upset or worried about something, he should always ask her if she would like to talk about it. But he should resist the temptation to offer advice or tell her what to do.” Our actions can speak louder than our words ever could. This may seem like an easy task, but you’d be surprised how many couples split because of something as simple as listening to each other. Try turning the TV off at dinner, and simply ask her how her day was. Look into her in her eyes when you speak and give her your full attention. Phones should be off as well. Some of the best conversations we’ve had are while sitting on the tub while she takes her bath. You’re talking and you’re together. That’s what she cares about most.
IF YOU REMEMBER DATES THAT ARE SIGNIFICANT TO HER
Relationships are different for men and women. One of the most important aspects of any relationship is the remembrance of significant dates, such as birthdays, anniversaries or the birth of a child. Whatever they may be, we need to make the conscious effort to remember and celebrate these days for our significant other. There are a few easy ways we can remember these specific dates. A simple reminder on your smartphone will work for most, but marking your work calendar a week or two before the date is a failsafe. This will give you adequate time to plan something special, or if anything, just mention it when you wake up next to her in the morning. Flowers delivered at work, followed by dinner, and in certain cases a card, will always be appreciated!
“Any fool knows men and women think differently at times, but the biggest difference is this…men forget, but never forgive; women forgive, but never forget.”
― Robert Jordan
HOW HONEST YOU ARE ABOUT THINGS
Seems pretty simple, but being truthful is best for a healthy relationship. I have made the mistake in earlier relationships where I would lie conveniently to cover up something as little as stopping to pick up beer while getting groceries. My intentions were harmless but like every lie, things can escalate. Don’t avoid conflict. Avoiding conflict makes a situation look worse than it is. Embrace uncomfortable conversation and discuss what will make the relationship better. A lot of my fears of earlier conflicts were merely projections, an idea that doing what I was doing was going to get me in trouble. Fear of confrontation kept me from telling someone that I cared about that I’m going to do this because… Regardless of the situation, your significant other will always handle truth better than deception.
TELLING HER HOW YOU’RE FEELING EMOTIONALLY
As men, we often don’t tell others how we’re feeling physically or mentally. Being a guy means keeping these emotions deep within us, which is really just a coping mechanism to shelter ourselves from pity or compassion. Women want to connect with men on a deeper, more emotional level. A man that lacks this emotional ability, lacks self-expression and what it truly means to be man. We all have trouble expressing our emotions. Crying at the end of a movie isn’t less manly, it merely means that there was something that touched you on a deeper level. Make it a practice to open up with your significant other about things that bother you. Maybe it’s the way she wears her hair or the way she acts around your friends that might make you feel compelled to say something. It could be something at work that’s bothering you, or a situation you feel you need to address for the betterment of the relationship. If it’s something you’ve suppressed for a long time, you may spill over with emotion. Don’t fear it. If we don’t accept and normalize our sensitivity as men, we are condemning ourselves to feeling empty and broken.